Creep
by mikomi bansiki
Summary: Kurt is feeling lost and broken after he hears some news from his secret crush.


I don't own Kurt or Kitty or Lance. I wish I did own Kurt though...

**Creep**

Kurt sat with his face in his hands, at his desk. Silent sobs wracked his body and he had his tail wrapped tightly around his waist. He couldn't stand it anymore, it had been over a month since he'd walked in on Lance and Kitty in her room, and he hadn't been able to face her since.

_When you were here before,_

_Couldn't look you in the eye,_

He'd been in love with her for over a year now and he'd thought that she felt the same way until he'd walked in on her with Lance. The image of her naked form on top of Lance was burned into his mind and haunted his dreams and nightmares.

_You're just like an angel,_

_Your skin makes me cry._

Ever since then, he'd been watching her to see if he could find anything different in her. So far, he'd only seen happiness. She'd seemed to float through her days and whenever she saw Lance, her whole countenance would light up.

_You float like a feather_

_In a beautiful world,_

Scott had listened to him ranting about what he thought were his fears; from about how he looked to the way he acted. Everyone knew that he liked Kitty, everyone except, it seemed, for Kitty herself.

_I wish I was special,_

_You're so very special._

Or maybe it wasn't so much that she didn't know as it was that she simply didn't feel the same way about him. He didn't blame her, after all, look at him. He had weird knees, fangs, pointed ears, a tail, and he was covered in an impenetrable layer of dark blue fur. Who would ever want him?

_But I'm a creep,_

_I'm a weirdo,_

Everyone told him that he was home here, with people who loved him, but somehow, he never did feel as though he truly belonged.

_What the hell am I doing here?_

_I don't belong here._

He'd had a dream once that he'd never told anyone else about, afraid that they'd laugh at him for it. A witch had given him a potion that had made all of his fur fall out and had made him look like his holo-form did. It'd hurt like hell, worse that when he'd been burnt at the stake eight years ago. He'd woken up screaming to find a room full of worried people and had had to do a lot of fast talking to get everyone to calm down. Thankfully by then, he'd learned to shield his thoughts from those students more mentally gifted in the school.

_I don't care if it hurts,_

_I wanna have control._

A soft sob broke the silence of his room. He couldn't hold it in any more. He hadn't cried at all and now he couldn't seem to stop. He hated the way he looked. He was a demon and she was an angel that he would never be able to touch now.

_I want a perfect body,_

_I want a perfect soul._

Kitty hadn't seemed to care that he'd barely spoken to her for a month. She was in a constant state of euphoria and hadn't really seemed to see much of anything lately. He could understand why though. And it killed him.

_I want you to notice _

_When I'm not around._

She was the picture of the perfect woman and he was the picture of the darkest nightmare. She had graduated with honors and he had barely passed due to the fact that everyone had labeled him the freak. He'd missed more school because of attacks and the teachers had turned a blind eye to it all. Kitty had been labeled the unfortunate result of genetics gone wrong. He was glad that she hadn't suffered overly much because of her mutation.

_You're so very special,_

_I wish I was special._

He had been labeled for every attack, being the most visible mutant had made it very hard for him to fit in. Even hanging around Hank didn't do much to lessen his loneliness. He really was a freak.

_But I'm a creep,_

_I'm a weirdo,_

He belonged nowhere; he'd never been safe, not even in the circus in Germany. He wanted to go home, but that task was made more daunting by the fact that he had no idea where to call home.

_What the hell am I doing here?_

_I don't belong here._

She had moved in with Lance a week ago. Everyone had been supportive of her joining up with their once-rivals, and they had smiled to see the young couple. No one smiled wider or louder than Kurt.

_She's running out again._

_She's running out._

_She runs, runs, runs._

He would pretend for her. He loved her that much. Kurt would not attend their wedding but he would be sure to leave them his blessings.

_Whatever makes you happy,_

_Whatever you want._

He would miss her when he left, but he knew that he would never be able to let go of her if he stayed. He would interrupt the wedding and make a fool of her, and she would hate him; so he would leave as soon as she announced the wedding plans tomorrow.

_You're so very special,_

_I wish I was special._

She would be able to have a normal wedding, without any obvious freaks present and all of her childhood wedding dreams would come true. He loved her, so he would have to leave. He would allow no one to hurt her, especially himself. He wanted her, but he loved her more.

_But I'm a creep,_

_I'm a weirdo,_

His bags were packed and he was in his room for the last night, crying tears that he would never allow himself to cry again. He'd fit in for a while and he would keep in touch with the Professor, but he would likely never come back. He couldn't.

_What the hell am I doing here?_

_I don't belong here._

He sobbed harder, unable to hold back. He loved this place and the people here, but he couldn't stay. He just couldn't.

_I don't belong here._


End file.
